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I Didn't Put Those Chains on You

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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
6:09 pm
I had nearly forgotten you existed

so this entry is for my for my favourite little lesbian

a very merry unbirthday to you wherever you are

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Monday, December 12th, 2005
4:35 pm - I dont know what Im doing
All the things I used to love
don't apply anymore
which I thought was a good reason
but what that reason was
I dont remember anymore


I miss me
and everyone else

I miss having done too much

I miss my life

I don't know where I am

send a search party
quick
before theres nothing left to find

current mood: crushed

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Friday, August 19th, 2005
5:52 pm
I had lost this one.
I was digging around for my lil brother's page in a chain of journal's. Then I found this. Strange.
But here I am again.
Maybe I should update.
NOt that anyone reads me.
Or I even remember any of my communities.
but there may be a cure.

well.... I am already here.




BBQ
VOoDoo
Engaged
thats as current as it gets.
well....
My mother had a door carved into the side of her skull.
Cancer.
My dad's in jail.
but not.
I love my cat.
I love Ra.

and yes....
I think thats an update
sloppy shut up

current mood: full

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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
10:33 am
yowza yowza yowza

I had nearly forgotten this journal
It took me an hour to figure out what the pass was
but here we are
I am working on my 11th month clean.
Whoda thunk, eh?
Life is still very out there
quite a bit is as complicate as it could possibly be
but I
am doing swimmingly
period
not "given the circumstances"
though, yes,
there are these horid circumstances.

I don't care.
everything is beautiful and all such gush.
Saturday, August 14th, 2004
4:50 pm - my goodness!
so-
Today, I have 101 days without drugs
and 30 without cigarettes. Yes, the two do overlap a bit.

Life is crazy.
Just thought I would check in.

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Monday, April 19th, 2004
1:47 am - Go here! NOW!
http://www.whatisvictoriassecret.com/

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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
5:54 pm
Do you ever feel like you're unraveling?

How long's a piece a string?

Too God damn long.

Thanks, Cap'n.

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Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
9:52 pm
but, i bought all this stuff, why am I still not happy?

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Monday, March 15th, 2004
11:06 pm
I am terribly PMSy. Which means I am potentially dangerous to myself and those around me. I need an adrenaline fix. I need to start running or something. I don't know. Drugs?





PS Vive le Theatre!

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Friday, March 5th, 2004
2:22 pm - HOoray!
I think I won!

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1:50 pm - Nothing Poetic
My teeth ache. I spent the whole morning asleep. No, my room is still not clean. Yes, I'm still fasting, I'm just doing a very poor job. Saturday is the full moon, and that looks promising. Timothy is cutting his hair tonight- military style. I weep at the thought. NOt actually, and not now, but I'm sure I will at some point.

My cheeseburger should be here now. Now. Beakfast of champions and all that.

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1:49 pm - I keep pics of her by my bed-- next to my handcuffs
You are Bettie Page!
You're Bettie Page!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Saturday, February 28th, 2004
12:20 am
mmmm...fungus.

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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
5:38 pm
      
Marriage is love.

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Thursday, February 12th, 2004
8:10 pm
I am fucking struggling.
I'm having trouble keeping track of days because of the drugs, well and my "evolved" sleeping pattern. No sleep no sleep no sleep.....sleep? No sleep!
Paint?


Drugs. Yes, Drugs.

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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
1:42 pm
I fucking LOVE Margaret Cho!!!

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Friday, January 16th, 2004
5:53 pm - And The Walls Came A-Tumbling Down
I'm much much closer to healthy than I was. My throat is still a little dumb, though.
I've restarted my meds-great.
I went and filed paperwork with Social Security- slightly uncomfortable, but Shonda took care of most of the messy parts.
I went to SRS where I got ...uh... everything.
I get max benefits.
In the state of Kansas for an adult with no dependents to get a medical card, they must be getting general assistance and they must be pursuing SSi- and they must be doing it with an attorney.
So not only do I get money and money for food and health insurance I get an attorney-free- to help me with my disability claim.

SO now I have money for my diversion- which I finally got the actual copy of- and all of the monthly report forms which are very short and simple.

Living on benefits gives you independent status on financial aid.

Give me a Year and I'll give you a miracle.
**Amen**

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Monday, January 12th, 2004
4:46 pm
I think this is my fifthe-- maybe sixth day sick. I'm still kinda tired and sore- as is my throat.
Tim's been taking care of me- which is fun in its own way.

My dreads are looking a little fluffy and unloved.
When Mikey gets payed again Im going to beg for a nit comb- I need a new comb anyway- and why not get what I really need?

I was working on stretching my second lobe piercings up to ten- but im sick and couldnt deal with the irritation right now. I'll start again later.
I think my lobes need time to adjust to my new jewelry- which I love.
I think I may go as big as half inch.

I love large gauge jewelry- its just better.

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Thursday, January 1st, 2004
6:51 pm
New Year's was alright.
Sober.
Spent with Tim.

My room is clean.



I'm very very sober.
.
.
.
.

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Thursday, December 25th, 2003
10:19 am
Everyone's favorite drug dealer was over last night.
Luckily I was upstairs enjoying a seroquel nap- thanks to a panic attack.
I hate holidays. This one particularly.

THis is my third day "sober".
I've had drinks- but drinks aren't my problem. Pot is.
According to my diversion- it's that I can't smoke pot.

I want everything to be better so bad.
And I'm working so hard at it.
And it's not working.




I hate being taken for granted.
I hate feeling bought.
Like I owe.

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