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I Didn't Put Those Chains on You

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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
6:09 pm
I had nearly forgotten you existed

so this entry is for my for my favourite little lesbian

a very merry unbirthday to you wherever you are

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Monday, December 12th, 2005
4:35 pm - I dont know what Im doing
All the things I used to love
don't apply anymore
which I thought was a good reason
but what that reason was
I dont remember anymore

I miss me
and everyone else

I miss having done too much

I miss my life

I don't know where I am

send a search party
before theres nothing left to find

current mood: crushed

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Friday, August 19th, 2005
5:52 pm
I had lost this one.
I was digging around for my lil brother's page in a chain of journal's. Then I found this. Strange.
But here I am again.
Maybe I should update.
NOt that anyone reads me.
Or I even remember any of my communities.
but there may be a cure.

well.... I am already here.

thats as current as it gets.
My mother had a door carved into the side of her skull.
My dad's in jail.
but not.
I love my cat.
I love Ra.

and yes....
I think thats an update
sloppy shut up

current mood: full

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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
10:33 am
yowza yowza yowza

I had nearly forgotten this journal
It took me an hour to figure out what the pass was
but here we are
I am working on my 11th month clean.
Whoda thunk, eh?
Life is still very out there
quite a bit is as complicate as it could possibly be
but I
am doing swimmingly
not "given the circumstances"
though, yes,
there are these horid circumstances.

I don't care.
everything is beautiful and all such gush.
Saturday, August 14th, 2004
4:50 pm - my goodness!
Today, I have 101 days without drugs
and 30 without cigarettes. Yes, the two do overlap a bit.

Life is crazy.
Just thought I would check in.

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Monday, April 19th, 2004
1:47 am - Go here! NOW!

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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
5:54 pm
Do you ever feel like you're unraveling?

How long's a piece a string?

Too God damn long.

Thanks, Cap'n.

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Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
9:52 pm
but, i bought all this stuff, why am I still not happy?

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Monday, March 15th, 2004
11:06 pm
I am terribly PMSy. Which means I am potentially dangerous to myself and those around me. I need an adrenaline fix. I need to start running or something. I don't know. Drugs?

PS Vive le Theatre!

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Friday, March 5th, 2004
2:22 pm - HOoray!
I think I won!

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1:50 pm - Nothing Poetic
My teeth ache. I spent the whole morning asleep. No, my room is still not clean. Yes, I'm still fasting, I'm just doing a very poor job. Saturday is the full moon, and that looks promising. Timothy is cutting his hair tonight- military style. I weep at the thought. NOt actually, and not now, but I'm sure I will at some point.

My cheeseburger should be here now. Now. Beakfast of champions and all that.

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1:49 pm - I keep pics of her by my bed-- next to my handcuffs
You are Bettie Page!
You're Bettie Page!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Saturday, February 28th, 2004
12:20 am

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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
5:38 pm
Marriage is love.

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Thursday, February 12th, 2004
8:10 pm
I am fucking struggling.
I'm having trouble keeping track of days because of the drugs, well and my "evolved" sleeping pattern. No sleep no sleep no sleep.....sleep? No sleep!

Drugs. Yes, Drugs.

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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
1:42 pm
I fucking LOVE Margaret Cho!!!

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Friday, January 16th, 2004
5:53 pm - And The Walls Came A-Tumbling Down
I'm much much closer to healthy than I was. My throat is still a little dumb, though.
I've restarted my meds-great.
I went and filed paperwork with Social Security- slightly uncomfortable, but Shonda took care of most of the messy parts.
I went to SRS where I got ...uh... everything.
I get max benefits.
In the state of Kansas for an adult with no dependents to get a medical card, they must be getting general assistance and they must be pursuing SSi- and they must be doing it with an attorney.
So not only do I get money and money for food and health insurance I get an attorney-free- to help me with my disability claim.

SO now I have money for my diversion- which I finally got the actual copy of- and all of the monthly report forms which are very short and simple.

Living on benefits gives you independent status on financial aid.

Give me a Year and I'll give you a miracle.

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Monday, January 12th, 2004
4:46 pm
I think this is my fifthe-- maybe sixth day sick. I'm still kinda tired and sore- as is my throat.
Tim's been taking care of me- which is fun in its own way.

My dreads are looking a little fluffy and unloved.
When Mikey gets payed again Im going to beg for a nit comb- I need a new comb anyway- and why not get what I really need?

I was working on stretching my second lobe piercings up to ten- but im sick and couldnt deal with the irritation right now. I'll start again later.
I think my lobes need time to adjust to my new jewelry- which I love.
I think I may go as big as half inch.

I love large gauge jewelry- its just better.

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Thursday, January 1st, 2004
6:51 pm
New Year's was alright.
Spent with Tim.

My room is clean.

I'm very very sober.

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Thursday, December 25th, 2003
10:19 am
Everyone's favorite drug dealer was over last night.
Luckily I was upstairs enjoying a seroquel nap- thanks to a panic attack.
I hate holidays. This one particularly.

THis is my third day "sober".
I've had drinks- but drinks aren't my problem. Pot is.
According to my diversion- it's that I can't smoke pot.

I want everything to be better so bad.
And I'm working so hard at it.
And it's not working.

I hate being taken for granted.
I hate feeling bought.
Like I owe.

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